erza155: (Default)
2022-07-25 09:20 am
Entry tags:

[sticky entry] Sticky: Never wanted to dance, but signed up for the lessons anyway

 Hi! I'm erza (EHR-ZAH), mid-20s, writer, bad at the internet

About me: I'm bad at routines, but I desperately need them. Trying to figure out how to use dreamwidth on a regular basis, but it's going very slowly seeing as I check it about once every 3 months when I remember? short attention span so I tend to jump around on fandoms a lot but I have what I consider my 'staple crop' fandoms which are the ones I usually always come back to

Fandoms: I'm involved in a lot of fandoms but as of 7/25/2022 the main ones are - naruto, svss, mdzs, genshin impact, comics, jujutsu kaisen, tokyo revengers, fullmetal alchemist, ff7

I'm on ao3 & tumblr with variants on the erza155 title

Hoping to use this journal for fic writing & talking about writing, posting fics, and figuring out craft hobbies
erza155: (Default)
2023-09-16 09:55 pm
Entry tags:

The waitress is coming

Written for: random inspiration
 
Fandom: ?seinfeld?
 
Pairing: N/A
 
Characters:
 
Additional notes:
Last edited August 21 2021
Keep tagged '[0] Untagged'
 
Date Archived: September 16 2023

Ok but here's my rewrite of the Seinfeld meme 'do you yearn' replaced with the word 'loathe' plus or minus additional elements to the scene in a Richard Siken pastiche.
 
**__We're sitting in a diner,
You the main character 
And I the main character 
In my own story
But this story isn't mine
We're sitting across from each other, and between us lies a table,
It's not the right table but it's the one we have
The table is sturdy enough to hold our history, our anger, and our food
Our waitress hasn't arrived yet because she knows we like to linger,
And she too has become part of this contrived play at humanity that we perform
Outside of your apartment once we get tired of staring at the walls
'But do you loathe?'
The audience laughs its cold canned laughter,
Constant company that doesn't help,
Not much different from our friends in that instance
Or us, if I were to be honest
'Oh, I loathe, Jerry.
I loathe with the hunger of a thousand.
I loathe with the weight of a Russian literature protagonist.
I loathe with the desperation of trapped mice...'
Suffice it to say. I loathe.
But will they remember what I loathed *for*?
Or will they simply remember that I loathed?
Will they remove my loathing from context,
Gut it, and
Fashion it into the trend that we no longer will be?
There is no more time for loathing.
A bill must be paid, and
We must continue on forward with our deathless spirals of individual loathing.
The waitress is coming__**
erza155: (Default)
2023-09-16 09:48 pm
Entry tags:

Burning Pile

Written for: Femslash February, 2021

Fandom: Avatar The Last Airbender

Pairing: Azula x Katara

Characters:

Additional notes:
Last edited February 26 2021
Keep tagged '0A'

Date Archived: September 16 2023
 
Day 5 Azula/Katara Orange
Title: Burning Pile
Azula/Katara Burning pile [https://genius.com/Mother-mother-burning-pile-lyrics]
[It goes, all my troubles on a burning pile
All lit up and I start to smile
If I catch fire then I'll change my aim
Throw my troubles at the pearly gates]
 
troubles at the pearly gates )
 
The water tribe savage looks **beautiful** with the orange glow of the flames reflecting in her eyes. She has her teeth bared and she looks like she's going to try bashing Azula's head in with her bare fist. Azula would honestly love to see her try. It obviously wouldn't hurt her, but she wants to see how the water tribe savage *moves*. She takes these lumbering steps as if she's expecting snow to meet her knees. And yet, she is as swift as the water she commands. Azula cannot help but be intrigued.
 
This time it wasn't Azula who lit the flames (a rare occasion really, so rare that they should perhaps hold feasts when it happens) yet she still benefits from their warmth. She breathes in the smell of smoke and of fire dominating all and she is... not at peace, but she knows where she is and what she has to do.
 
She knows she's not in the imperial palace because the flames there smell different. Caustic and acrid, it had nearly driven her mad. She *recognizes* the smell. Some part of her hindbrain is screaming about it, but Azula is always in control and she will not give in to baseless fear. Humans burn the same, Azula knows from copious experience. So whatever is going on in the imperial palace that her father is making sure to keep it away from her, it can't be good. And Azula will not be a victim of circumstance due to ignorance. Azula will not be a victim to anything.
 
Ok, so canon adjacent au where Azula is like Ozai is crazy cause he's leaned into some human experiment shit and she doesn't want to be the next 'project' [The natural next step for all evolved firebenders, her father had said. Our greatness and might will increase and prosper even more. Azula doesn't even think about the number of their citizens he must have burned before he got satisfactory results. And she knows his standards, what he considers satisfactory is a weapon that when backfires will kill 100 allies rather than 1,000 allies. Plus, Azula doesn't think about the little people. She's too busy carving out her place in the world.]
 
Maybe this is a sci fi AU where benders are still a thing, just spread across planets on a Federation system (like in star trek) and Ozai is a conquering warlord from The Caldera planet whereupon sits the seat of power that governs firebenders, and colonies under their Jurisdiction. Maybe Azula's line are like Klingons in that they are war mongering nomads with one solid seat of power. Katara's bloodline is like Vulcan types of ancient, but they didn't really do the whole record keeping thing considering they were too busy trying to survive a fucking ice planet. Plus she has some 'gifts' cause her grandmother gave her some recessive genes from the Northern coalition of Waterbenders. Everyone has a lot of genetic diversity and a little bit of tweaking to certain bloodlines here and there, and Bada Bing Bada Boom, evolution. [It would be so fucking hilarious to call Azula's bloodline The Pale Ones or The Pale Death Bringers as long as it involves the word 'Pale' because they're like obnoxiously whiteπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚]
 
Check star trek species database
Scrapped
~~Maybe modern AU where Azula has burned a lot of bridges and she's now trying to reach out but there isn't anyone who will help her, so she's internally falling apart~~
erza155: (Default)
2023-09-16 09:29 pm
Entry tags:

Hestia x Hera - Hearth & Home

Written for: Femslah February 2021

Fandom: Greek Mythology
 
Pairing: Hestia x Hera
 
Characters:
 
Additional notes:
Keep tagged '0A'
Last edited: February 26 2021
 
Date Archived: September 16 2023

Hearth & Home Hestia/Hera
*******
summary: Hestia leaves Olympus. Hera tries to follow and learn to be free. They build a home.
 
worship (noun) the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity )
 
Hestia does not hate her family members. It would be very easy to do so, but she doesn't. Because she remembers how they spent the first few years of their lives in the darkness of their father, with neither hearth nor flame to warm them and provide them light. It makes sense that they're all a little bit broken. And she supposes that the next generation, even if they had grown up with comforts that their parents couldn't have even imagined when they were children, they had to deal with the various cracks in their parents' visage without seeing how deeply their own parents were broken and carefully pieced back together. 
 
Hestia is the goddess of the hearth and home. She is respected. Some do not see value in her power. They think her weak and meek. But she doesn't care much for them. There have been many classifications of her powers, but she alone knows the true extent of her powers. Her siblings assume that she is bound to only places where a hearth lays. A hearth does not a home make. 
 
The precious little humans that Prometheus had adored so much to give unto them light, even at the cost of himself were so *creative*. She admired them for it, they had grown so much. To them a home was so much more than a stationary physical place to return to. It was a person, a memory, a piece of land, a state, nowhere and everywhere all at once. It was glorious and freeing. When she let herself expand her sense and revel in her own power, it was always such a rush.
 
So she watches over the humans as they grow, and they are so fascinating. Their lives are so short, but they attempt to fit everything they can into the few paltry years they are allotted. They are beautiful in their despair of life. They are beautiful in their welcome of death.
 
β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†
 
Despite constantly being able to see everything happening, Hestia does constantly work on not spying on her siblings. Even if she were to give them guidance, they would not heed her words, and they would only grow [think her untrustworthy, something to be watched out for] of her and that wouldn't help anyone at all. So she stays quiet and tries to focus on the mortals unless there is another god calling for her attention. 
 
So, when she first stumbles upon Hera sitting stiffly on a bench with red rimmed eyes, she is of the mind to leave everything well enough alone, but the way Hera looks right now is... disconcerting. She is still her beautiful, and ethereal self, and yet a deep sadness permeates her. And mixed in with that sadness, she can sense a roiling fury, like the waves of the sea when Poseidon throws one of his tantrums.
 
Hestia sits next to her little sister and offers her a [handkerchief]. Hera takes it silently and daintily dabs at the corner of her eyes. Theirs is not a family [that is big on or built on] frequent communication. She cannot remember the last time she had been alone with Hera like this. Olympus was always crawling with gods, demigods, creatures, and your other what-have-yous. And as Queen of Olympus, it was Hera's duty to be seen, so she was hardly ever alone. 
 
No one is blind to Zeus' stupidity, but they don't say anything either because he's the baby of the family, or they fear his power. Sometimes both. Hestia supposes that she too is afraid of Zeus in some abstract way, but Hera is also her sister, and she will support her when she can.
 
β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†
 
"Oh, sister," Hestia whispers, caressing her face. "How you have suffered. We turned a blind eye to your suffering. 
Hera wants to cry. No one has ever taken her side on this, but here is soft Hestia making her feel welcome.
"No more. I am sorry that I did nothing. But I will stand with you now." Her voice is fierce.
 
β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†
 
"My Lord, Zeus, king of the gods you might be. But my domain is the home. Tread carefully. I can make it so that you never have a safe place to return to. No warm bed to lay your weary head on. Cold and empty walls await your future if you overstep your bounds."
 
β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†
 
Hestia adorns her head with braids. They talk while Hestia braids her hair. It is aimless chatter. It is wonderful. Every small moment with Hestia is a gift she did not have before. She is all the more appreciative of it.
 
When Hestia is done and she looks in the mirror She is shocked. She looks like a queen. She always has, but Hestia has managed to make her look *soft*. Hera has been wearing armor for so long that she doesn't know who she is without it. All her hard edges are still there, but Hestia has taught her to blunt them. Hestia takes her as she is and does not ask her to change. Hera could weep for how much her heart is overflowing with love.
 
β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†β˜†
 
Something something about parallels and being goddesses of ceremonies?
Like carrying people over the threshold is a theatricality and a performance. It is a lovely ideal, but how long will the husband be that pleasant. Humans are so fickle. 
Marriages are a ceremony. Mortals have clung to the odd idea that it is love that makes a marriage. As if Hera has not spent countless centuries hating Zeus. Marriage is more than love. It is vows, unbending. It is also a slow destruction. 
Sometimes she thinks that she chose this to be her realm to punish Zeus and herself somehow. A sort of 'you've ruined me once and now you will never be free' sort of ideal.
 

erza155: (Default)
2023-09-16 08:45 pm
Entry tags:

(no subject)

Written for: Femslash February, I definitely don't remember which year

Fandom: Mo Dao Zu Shi

Pairing: Wen Qing x Yu Ziyuan
 
Characters: Wen Qing, Yu Ziyuan
 
Additional notes: Last Edited February 26 2021
Day 4 - Feathers; Time loops

Date Archived: September 16 2023

Scoop )
 
The 'feathers' belong to the creature that blessed them with this 'gift'. It always changes its shape when it talks to them. Every time it spirits them away to its realm, it is always a showy thing full of glowing feathers, leaves, or dust. Ziyuan had asked him why all the bullshit once and he had responded that they were the elements of nature in their natural habitat, viewing their contract. Ziyuan called bullshit. She didn't believe in anything she couldn't punch throw Zidian at.
 
"What would you do different, I wonder. It would be ever so amazing to find out."
 
He sounds like her grandfather. She had hated the sorry bastard. Her grandfather, not the creature, although she did hate the creature too. But news of his death had filled her for a brief moment, and emotion that could almost mistakenly be called happiness. So now there's a shapeshifting idiot who is sending her back through time. With a *Wen*. And not even one of the good ones. Her ally to be was a fucking toddler. Yu Ziyuan was going to tear the sky from the heavens and force the gods she didn't believe to fucking explain themselves.
 
But that had to be put on hold, because *toddler*. It's not that Ziyuan hated kids. She just finds them sticky, and gross, and they are somehow *always* moist. It's incredibly unseemly. And having been through the childbirth process, she disliked them all just a little bit more. There was a reason that she had put her foot down after A-Cheng. She had given JFM an heir and a spare, and had thus fulfilled her marital contracts.
 
And for a while it's good. She rescues her family and lives through the sunshot war until one day she wakes up and she is not home. She is with the infernal creature.
 
"Do you know what an enormous boon has been granted to you?" He hisses angrily. "You foolish naked baboon. Remember there are more people in the world. Try again."
 
She storms into Qishan herself, 'stealing' Wen Qing because she is tired. She is tired of fighting a war she wasn't meant to live through. She's tired of having to see her children suffer. She's tired that J&Y aren't as well off as they could be. She would always leave Meishan and she would choose to go back for vacation, but she can't live in Meishan again. That would probably lead to her mass killing all her family members. And she hasn't tried that. *Yet.* But she's keeping the idea on a back burner.
 
Somewhere along the many repeats, they become attuned to each other. They change little things, it's kind of like a game. And there are no consequences. (Besides the mental and emotional pain of having to repeat the worst and final moments of her life on a loop.)
 
And then one day, she is kissing Wen Qing. More accurately, Wen Qing is kissing her. She would hardly say that she was a coward, but that's not a choice she would have made any time soon. Wen Qing leans back. "You can say no, it's ok"
 
And Ziyuan finds herself in love. It's lovely, beautiful, and lighthearted. It's another thing that the creature could choose to take from her.
 
Most of the time they have to conduct their affairs in privacy because they both have reputations, but they start slipping. The first time A-Cheng walked in on WQ' arm wrapped around her waist and kissing her, he turned as red as a tomato and actually *fainted*. Then they had to wait for him to wake up and then have the conversation of why his mother was kissing someone who was roughly his age and *a girl*. Apparently he thought she only liked men. And of course she wouldn't be jumping from the roofs for everyone to see this. She's no JGS.
 
The only reason she doesn't have JFM assassinated is because the children are fond of her and if she has to hear the shitty creature whine about 'the value of human life' she will absolutely impress her teeth upon one of its body parts/appendages (bite him). Just because Zidian and normal human forged weapons didn't work didn't mean that there were other things that could hurt them. And at this point she was more than willing to risk the consequences.
 
Wen Qing is hardly silent either. She regularly snarls at the creature but her needles have no effect on it. In short they must keep this farce going to entertain it otherwise it would do something like 'oh probably devour the universe' he flipped onto its back as a lizard (Ziyuan fiercely wished to step foot on it, but she held herself back.) 'Everything is just so boring, you know, but you guys are making things way more fun.'
 
Notes, write Wen Qing as less passive
Various possible titles:

Ready for action (they'll never beat me)
Flying without a cape (time to change how we live)
Save the day
A call away (ready for action)
Leveling up
Let me come guide you
They forgot (remind them)
No contact (I could save you too)

Chasing the continuation of a dream
Searching (for what we lost)
Labyrinth
To escape (this thing called reality)
Living to make our wish come true
No place to go back to (too long a life left to erase)
Take me back (I'm on the way)
I couldn't say it right (even pain like this is a welcome feeling)
Closed my eyes (to understand)
Burn my heart (with irritation) 
Open the next door

No Exit
Make our hell (From the Oscar Wilde quote: We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.)
 
Mini-playlist:
Again by Yui [https://www.animelyrics.com/jpop/yui/again.htm]
Save the day By ski mask the slump god [https://genius.com/Ski-mask-the-slump-god-and-jacquees-save-the-day-lyrics]
Believer by Imagine Dragons